By: Sharon Jayson - USA TODAY
Steve Bull and his wife, Allison Ackerman, can't count the number of times they've been told they make a cute couple. James and Katrina Vong can't escape being mistaken for brother and sister. Sharon Young says her resemblance to now-husband Ben Young was so strong, people told her they should get together.

"We were going to the same church, and there were people who were very interested to have the two of us date," says Young, 32, of Cincinnati. "They'd say, 'You would look really good together and would have cute kids' — before we were dating."

Everybody knows romantic partners who look as if they belong together. But just why people are sometimes drawn to look-alikes isn't necessarily coincidence. It's fodder for research that spans subjects from evolution to psychology to attraction and mating preferences, to try to explain why some people may unconsciously seek out partners with similar features.

• PHOTOS: See the resemblance in these celebrity and USA TODAY reader couples
• STORY: Attraction to similar faces inspires dating software

"When you have a face that looks more like you, you tend to trust it more and think it looks more cooperative," says Tony Little, a research fellow in psychology at the University of Stirling in Scotland. He is among a small group of researchers studying the role of the human face in mating choices.

Research by psychologist R. Chris Fraley of the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign used digitally morphed photos of a subject's face and a stranger's face; he found that morphed faces were more attractive to subjects when their own face was included. The experiment was part of a study he co-wrote in 2010 in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

"I do think there's an innate tendency for people, myself included, to be attracted to people who look like them. There's a familiarness to it," says Sharon Young, a college administrator.

A new dating website called Find Your FaceMate even uses facial-recognition software to suggest pairings. The official launch is July 10, says founder Christina Bloom of New York. But although facial attraction may ignite a relationship, it takes more to keep it going, she says.

Jessie King, 26, of St. Augustine, Fla., says she and boyfriend Jeff Cagle, 32, are both blond.

"People like to see similars together," says King, a health educator. "We get comments like: 'You guys are cute together. You look like a good couple.' "

Redheads Heather and Tony Capraro, 41 and 49, of Concord, N.H., both were married before, but not to look-alikes. "When we're out, people think we're brother and sister," he says.

Jim Rock, 41, a lawyer from Holladay, Utah, says his wife, Grace Rock, 36, "has six siblings but looks more like me than them."

Debra Lieberman, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla., says Freud was wrong about people being unconsciously attracted to their opposite-sex parent; humans have evolved sophisticated inbreeding avoidance systems and develop strong aversions toward those seen as a close genetic relative.

She believes it's more about "the similarity someone else has to the template that I built up of what counts as a healthy male. It might come from what my father looks like and any other males I was around quite frequently growing up."

James and Katrina Vong, 31 and 32, are federal employees stationed in Yokosuka, Japan. He's Cambodian and she's Filipino, but "sometimes we get weird looks when we hold hands because our resemblance seems more like siblings," he says.

Bull and Ackerman, 33 and 32, of Evanston, Ill., met in college; they noticed their resemblance but dated others, too. "Before Allison," he says, "I dated somebody 4-foot-11 and brunette."
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Source: http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/wellness/story/2012-06-18/lookalikes-attract/55720994/1

Hi everyone,

The link below is to an article by my cousin, Monica Gabriel, who writes for Verily Magazine.  The article discusses how texting is affecting dating in our culture.  Particularly, it discusses the emotionally addictive nature that the overuse of texting can engender.  I hope you enjoy it, take care and God bless!


http://issuu.com/verilymag/docs/teaser/43#share

Published on Apr 4, 2012 by insidenikerunning
Love makes people do crazy things. Like run across the country. 
See how strong running reunites a long distance couple. 

Brought to you by Nike Free Run+. Run Stronger. 
See the new FREE at http://www.nikerunning.com

We all want love.  Our sole desire on our hearts regardless of race, gender, or ethnicity is love.  To love and be loved.  But this love is not the love that the world promises or even propagates on the media.  This love can not be obtained by any object, or even any friend or family member. Even the most romantic human relationship with the most amazing gentleman will not satisfy your heart in this way. Often times, people will go to extremes or pursue dating relationships with other people in search for this type of love.  But the end result, if we are truly honest with ourselves, is always disappointment and frustration.  Because this love that our hearts yearn for is a sustainable, unconditional love that transcends our heart to God.  Christ is the center of this Love and He is the only one who can fill the void.  So, I challenge you this summer to settle your hearts and rest in Him.  If you are in a dating relationship or single, try a dating fast.  Remove yourself from the dating process for a while to reclaim your heart, body, and soul.  Whether you use this time to heal and/or grow, spend your summer pursuing Him and giving Him the space to transform you.  Fall in love with Christ and allow Him to show you your beauty.  Make the decision this summer to do something for yourself--something that will change your life!  Decide to say 'yes' to God and fast from the dating world.

After all, making sound decisions is based on a mind that is sound on God (Romans 12:2).  The only way to reach this point is to purposely and forcefully pursue God over all other things. The irony of a sound mind is you have to eliminate noise. The only ‘sound’ needs to be from God. In order  to have a sound mind a person has to eliminate noise (distraction) and allow a fine tuned ‘sound’ from the Holy Spirit into our mind. The only way to have a fine tuned sound and not a noise is through practice and focus, just ask any musician. A dating fast allows you to practice and focus on the sounds that God has for you.  What is He saying to your heart?  Be still and listen!

Recently, I wrote a book for women on this topic.  For more information about this book or the benefits of a dating fast, please check out the following website,  http://web.me.com/slbec6/Katherine_Becker/home.html or email me at thedatingfast@gmail.com.

With today being Mother's Day, I thought that I would share an article that I found about the vocation of motherhood.  May all mothers be blessed in a special way today.  May God's grace fill them with His peace, mercy, and love! :)

*****The vocation of motherhood is a call to sanctity just as a vocation to the priesthood or religious life is. While it is true as St. Paul says, the married person does not have a heart reserved for singular devotion to God, caring for husband and children is in itself a path to holiness. The number of saints who were mothers is too many to enumerate. However, the fact that the Blessed Mother lived and sanctified this vocation is enough to demonstrate its greatness.

Motherhood is neither a right nor a decision. Rather it is a gift bestowed by the Author of Life on those whom He chooses to bless. This is something all too often forgotten in our era of science, technology and planning of parenthood. Motherhood is certainly not a vocation without trials, tribulation or suffering. This is evident to every mother from the very beginning in the sacrifice of her body that she makes during pregnancy and the agony of childbirth. Yet, this suffering pales in comparison to the joy a new child brings. (Or at least shrinks a little once it is past!) In a like manner, the vocation of motherhood offers a uniquely designed road to sanctification beset with roses and thorns along the way. However the glory and happiness offered at the end of the journey far outweighs the difficulties of the path.

As Catholic mothers, we are called to witness to the world how the vocation of motherhood is a gift. We are called to a paradoxical life which the world does not understand. It is through humility, sacrifice, and the complete emptying out of oneself that true greatness is found. Motherhood is not a vocation of awards and recognition. It is often a hidden life, with only God truly knowing and appreciating all the love and work that goes into each day. The very nature of motherhood develops the virtue of humility by the constant requirement to put needs of others first. (There are few things in life more humbling than changing another's diaper!) In reality, by her example, love, and constant giving, a mother is helping God form the character of a new soul. She is raising a new saint for Heaven.

Jesus says "Whatever you do for the least of my brethren, you do unto me." Every mother needs to recall from time to time that in the constant demand to meet the needs of her family, she is fulfilling this service to Jesus Himself. She must also remember to take time for herself. For if she gives without ever being replenished, the ultimate end is burnout. A mother needs some quiet time for herself every day for spiritual reflection, pursuing her own interests, emotional recharging, or simply for peace and quiet! Taking time to be grateful and allowing her husband and children to give back to her is the source of a mother's seemingly tireless bounty of love.

Another method in which the Lord calls us to holiness though motherhood is the special way in which we can come to know Him as only parents can. In knowing Him more deeply we may love Him more completely. By allowing us to participate with Him in creation, we begin to understand the paternity of God in a very small and veiled manner. By our own experience as parents, we can come to understand the love of God in an entirely new fashion. Most of us find it difficult to imagine a love more powerful than the love of a parent for child. Yet this love dissipates when compared to the love which God has for each and every one of us. In our dealings with our own children, we are reminded that we are in fact the children of God. As such, sometimes we are disciplined, asked to do thing we don't understand, and don't get immediate gratification of all our desires. From a child's perspective we may feel God is unfair or unjust, but when we reflect upon our own role as parents, we can glimpse that everything Our Lord decides for us is decided with love and our own best interest in mind. Parents have the ability to grasp this concept greater than anyone else.

God ordained a mission for each of us and mapped out the path for us to fulfill it from all eternity. He knew us before we existed and as the bible so tenderly puts it, "knit" us in our mother's womb. The path He designed for each of our sanctifications is different from that which He devised for anyone else. In conclusion, though a mother may not have the time or ability to spend endless hours in contemplative union with God, she need not feel that she is incapable of achieving greatness in the eyes of Our Lord. Rather, Our Lord is capable of achieving greatness in her, especially in the ordinariness of her life. This is the secret of St. Therese - not finding holiness in accomplishing monumental feats, but finding monumental holiness in the love attached to the simplest and smallest incidences of life. In this may every mother find true joy in her vocation.

To find out more, visit: http://www.revolutionoflove.com/mamas/articles/motherhood/motherhood_gwen.html.

By: Anthony Buono - Catholic Lane
The highlight of every child’s Easter basket is the chocolate bunny. I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth into it. I don’t know about you, but I have always preferred the solid chocolate bunny over the hollow bunny. What an utter disappointment to bite into that ear and have it shatter chocolate crumbs all over. Half the fun is the struggle to work your teeth through that solid mass of chocolate.

The hollow bunny looks just like a solid bunny. But it has no substance. Unless it’s labelled, there’s no way to tell if it’s hollow or solid until you experience it.

Dating frustrations are much like this experience of the hollow versus solid bunny. You’re on a date with someone who is attractive and seems great, but then you discover that he is not what you expected. Perhaps he is not as spiritual as he claims to be. Perhaps she is shallow and superficial. Perhaps he is overly self-centered and wrapped up in his own concerns. Perhaps she can’t have an interesting conversation.

One of the most common complaints I have heard over the years from Catholics about the people they’ve dated is that they were not what they seemed. They encountered a hollow bunny.

A person, for the most part, can’t help who he is in many ways. And the substance of another is often a subjective matter. Someone uninteresting to you, for example, can be fascinating to another. It’s a matter of being evenly yoked: properly suited for each other.

But some aspects of the hollow bunnies most certainly can be helped. It’s fundamentally deceiving, for example, to present yourself as a practicing Catholic, and then behave in ways contrary to Christian virtue. A solid bunny strives to live the faith they profess, and is considerate and respectful of the person he is dating in the name of that same faith.

Fortunately, that lack of substance is usually presented early on, and you can thank God that you found this out quickly so you don’t waste your time.

Putting aside the obvious ways to determine if you are with a hollow bunny, what about when it’s not so obvious? Some people you date and build a relationship with seem so solid. They are very outgoing, funny, talkative, charming, fun, interesting, cultured, and very serious about their faith. It seems they have it all. Or do they?

How many of us have dated someone like this only to find out that you still feel there is something lacking or missing in the relationship? But how can that be? Are you being too picky? Asking for too much?

Remember, the hollow bunny is not obviously hollow, and in fact, it can pass for a solid bunny without a problem. So this person is going to be attractive in every way. And that attraction is going to be a distraction from what is really important for a long lasting relationship with you.

With YOU! It’s about you, not the other. YOU have to be the one who keeps focused on what is really important to you. For solid bunnies, what’s really important is deep friendship with a consistent connection that keeps both of you exploring the person of the other.

A hollow bunny and a solid bunny would have a difficult life together. The hollow bunny will know it’s not solid and will keep trying to be what it can never be. And the solid bunny will tolerate the hollow bunny, knowing all the while the hollow bunny cannot satisfy, no matter what either of them do. This is why two people who have seemingly great qualities can still have a relationship that is rocky or comes to an end.

There are all kinds of reasons a solid bunny will stay with a hollow bunny. Physical attraction can trump conversation. Having someone fun to do things with can trump true friendship. Wanting to get married, have children, or some other goal-oriented motive can trump patience in getting to know each other as a person well.

Hollow bunnies are attractive people. But they should be with other hollow bunnies. Solid bunnies might be distracted for a time, but they eventually realize the person he is with is a hollow bunny. It’s best to make this determination during the dating process so that the love that is declared and exchanged is real and has a solid foundation.

Sadly, too many solid bunnies are prone to make three mistakes:

1) Believe everyone they meet are hollow bunnies and decide he has to settle on this type of person because his chances of finding another person of similar substance is unlikely.

2) Believe he can make a life with a hollow bunny, sacrificing what he needs as a person.

3) Attempt to become a hollow bunny in order to get along better with the person he is with, or believe he can change the hollow bunny into a solid bunny like them.

To settle on a hollow bunny is self-deception. You’re basically saying that who you are is unimportant. True love starts with your real self, and connects with another real person. The worst thing you can do is change who you are for another person.

We are who we are. Fighting against our own nature, our own personhood, our own interests, talents, attractions, etc., is a futile exercise. The cornerstone of love is the ability to mutually give of yourself.

Finding a suitable partner means uniting two hearts as one, based on a friendship that develops until you can’t imagine life without the other. As you date, pay close attention to how you become friends, and how you share that friendship. If you have substance together, you have much to share, and much to give. Go for a solid person who can build a solid life of love with you.

To find out more, visit: http://catholiclane.com/dating-solid-bunny-vs-hollow-bunny/.

By: John Fischer and Brooke Heischmidt
Long-distance relationships are tricky, but lots of people find themselves in one these days.  This is often because one or both people  involved are too smitten to be thinking clearly, which leads me to my own relationship. 

Just kidding. (But seriously…) Brooke and I have been thinking at least somewhat clearly from the beginning of our relationship, which has been long-distance for our seven months together.  In our search for how to build a great relationship, I stumbled across a book by Matthew Kelly called “The Seven Levels of Intimacy.” It has some general good thoughts about the anatomy of relationships, but one chapter was particularly useful. It is entitled, “Why People Don’t Have Great Relationships.” 

He argued, among other things, that people don’t have great relationships because they don’t clearly define what makes a relationship great. That made a lot of sense to us. How can you have a great relationship if you don’t even know what one looks like?
 
So we made a list. Both of us, separately, wrote down a number of ingredients that we thought would be included in the kind of great relationship that we both want to have, and then later we shared our lists and talked about
them. Below is our list. Please feel free to look it over and steal whatever you want, but we both would encourage you to come up with your own list. One of the reasons this was so good for us as a couple was because of the
conversation and thought that came out of it which gave insight into what was important to the other person. We each spent about a week thinking it over before we shared, and that led to a very fruitful discussion.
 
We continue to add things or change things as we progress, but it is kind of our little relationship constitution. We look it over from time to time, and it helps us be reminded of the high ideals that we have set for ourselves.

Here is our list; but, again, we encouarage you to create your own.  Please let us know if you give it a try. We certainly want to learn from you too! 
  
Ingredients for a GREAT relationship:
  
*Common goal - to help each other become saints (do this through growing in virtues)* 
- Don't take ourselves too seriously 
- Always love our Lord Jesus more than each other, and look to Him for our deepest fulfillment
- Each need to take care of ourselves and our own legitimate needs - then we have more to offer the other
- Assume the best of the other (seek understanding before judgment or frustration)
- Always speak well of the other in public - we're on the same team and we have each others' backs 
- Each needs individual friends - one person can't fulfill you
- Openness and honesty
- Continue to seek ways to improve relationship (books, role models, etc.)
- Learn about the opposite sex (how they're wired) - it won't fix everything, but will help us understand each other 
- Don’t be afraid to tell the other something they don't want to hear if they need to hear it
-Both make sacrifices – give and receive love from the other
- Fun!…with friends and alone
-Periodic evaluation 
- Communicate needs… what the other can do to help keep the relationship strong
-Hugs! 
- Accountability: prayer, purity, striving for excellence, etc. 
-Ask the Holy Spirit to guide! 
-Pray together often (this must follow a natural progression: at meals, going to Mass together, saying a rosary… there’s no specific time line for this, but remember emotional chastity/prudence!.. more on this topic to come)